Don't Take Matters Into Your Own Hands

Anxiety disorders are one of the worst conditions to have. Those that suffer from them know just how debilitating they can be.

It's no secret that i have anxiety/panic disorder. I've blogged about it in the past and still do now and again, but this is more of a warning.

Don't EVER ween yourself off of the medication without consulting your doctor! I made that mistake thinking i knew what i was doing. I did it because i have to do these "exposures" which is a form of CBT in order to overcome my traffic fear. My logic was multi-faceted, how am i going to know if I'm succeeding with these exposures if I'm medicated?, i want to get ready to start starting a family and i have to be off of this medication for a MINIMUM of 3 months, and I'm just tired of popping pills! My logic was obviously off.. well at least my method of weening was lol..

It didn't start with a conscious decision. It started with BAD allergies, if that makes any sense. OK it doesn't so I'll explain lol.. I had a bad allergy attack last weekend and i was highly medicated on Benadryl and i simply would fall asleep and forgot to take my medication. After the 3rd day, and not feeling anything adversely, i decided to stop taking my meds. Mind you i was already weened 1/2 way down at this point so i didn't think it would be a problem.. what's another 1/2?

Another 1/2 is ZERO, and ZERO = Flu-like symptoms, nausea, diarrhea, hot flashes, cold flashes, agitation, sensitivity to light & sound, violent dreams, brain zaps, lethargy, incessant crying, complete and utter panic, depression, light-headedness, dizziness, insomnia, loss of appetite and that's only what I experienced in a few days.

So yesterday i took 1/4 of my dose to help with the symptoms.. it took 2 hours for it to "click", but once it did i didn't have the panicky feeling anymore, but the nausea continued into the night.

Today is a bit better, though i still feel a little off, it's manageable because i don't have all the symptoms listed prior. The only thing i do feel is a little depressed with a major loss of desire to do anything.. i had to push myself for the things that i have managed to accomplish today. The biggest test will be getting myself to the Dr for my weekly appointment, but i have faith that I'll get it done.